


safe and sound (finally safe remix)

by tintedglasses



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (aftermath of) body switch, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, M/M, Sharing a Bed, clint barton's self esteem issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24813142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tintedglasses/pseuds/tintedglasses
Summary: “I’m so sorry,” Clint says and it feels inadequate, but he doesn’t know what else to say. He thought he had a rough time waking up in that Hydra cell, but at least he woke up somewhere else. He can’t imagine what it would be like to wake up in the same place he went to sleep, knowing that there’s no one else out there for him.“It wasn’t rare,” Bucky says, ducking his head slightly. “It was the thirties and healthcare wasn’t great and so it wasn’t rare for people’s soulmates to die before either of them reached twenty-one.” Bucky swallows hard again, his voice the quietest it’s been when he says, “But I guess I just never thought that it could happen to me.”
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Comments: 11
Kudos: 119
Collections: Winterhawk Remix 2020





	safe and sound (finally safe remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Finally Safe](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21935260) by [LoonyLoopyLisa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLoopyLisa/pseuds/LoonyLoopyLisa). 



> This is a remix of loonyloopylisa's fic Finally Safe and will not make sense if you didn't read that fic first. The basic premise, though, is that people switch bodies with their soulmates on their 21st birthday. I chose to do an added scene between the last two scenes of the original fic, centered on the night of Bucky's rescue. Also, while the original fic was a no powers/assassin AU, this fic is within the typical MCU universe. Thanks for reading!

It’s been a long few days between waking up in Hydra’s grasp and launching a rescue mission to save Bucky, and Clint feels as though he could sleep for days now that Bucky is here and safe with him. It’s hard not to think about Bucky lying curled up in that small and dingy bed when Clint had finally found his cell, his eyes desolate in the seconds before a lints entrance pushed him into alertness. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever really be able to forget it. But that feels worlds away from where they are now, lying on Clint’s bed in the Tower, curved towards each other like two brackets, the moonlight coming in from the wall of windows behind Clint. It’s the perfect amount of light to throw Bucky’s cheekbones into sharp contrast and to see Bucky’s eyes, gleaming and alive. Clint burns with the desire to study every angle of Bucky’s face in every sort of light that exists, but he’ll take this to start.

Clint’s bed at the Tower is much larger than his bed in his Bed-Stuy apartment, so there’s more than enough space for them not to touch each other. It’s both a blessing and a curse, what with the way that Clint wants to reach out and hold Bucky, and the way that he thinks that if he did, he’d maybe never stop. The urge to touch Bucky again hasn’t dimmed since the first time they touched in Bucky’s Hydra cell and he’s not sure it ever will.

He’s been more than happy to push that to the side, though; he knows that all of this must be so overwhelming for Bucky and he’d never want to do anything to make that worse. He can’t imagine what it must have been like for Bucky to recover his memories and realize that he’s lost 70 years, and he’s so grateful that Steve is around to help him make sense of it all.

He can still see the look of disbelief on Steve’s face before they left for the mission when Clint told him that Bucky was still alive and that not only was he Clint’s soulmate, but also the Winter Soldier. He could tell that Steve hadn’t really believed him until he saw Bucky with his own eyes and held him in his own arms, and while that lack of trust from Steve hurt a little, it’s not like Clint would have believed it either, if it hadn’t happened to him. 

Clint had figured Bucky would want to stay with Steve on his first night out of Hydra’s control since they hadn’t seen each other in literal decades. Plus he thought the familiarity might helpful after being held captive for all that time without his memories to anchor him. And as much as Clint craved being near Bucky, he wouldn’t have begrudged him that.

But Bucky had declined and asked shyly if he could stay with Clint instead. It was a show of trust that Clint doesn’t know if he deserved and it felt like he was being handed something fragile and asked not to break it, a similar feeling to when Bucky had reached out to take his hand when Clint came to rescue him. 

“Are you sure you don’t want Steve to stay with you?” Clint wants to check in one last time, needing to make sure that Bucky hasn’t change his mind now that they are here in the bed. He knows Steve is concerned that Bucky might subconsciously be latching on to Clint as a new handler, so he wants to make sure that Bucky knows he has options. He’s terrified of messing this up, but he’s also determined not to, and that includes supporting Bucky however he needs to, even if he really wants Bucky to stay.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Bucky says, his voice quiet and almost hesitant, and Clint’s gut burns thinking about getting back-handed while in Bucky’s body by the Hydra agent, just for having an opinion. He wonders how long it took Bucky to stop offering his freely. “If that’s okay with you, I mean.”

“Yeah, of course,” Clint says, trying to use his most reassuring voice. He wants to reach out to squeeze Bucky’s hand, but he isn’t sure if it’s allowed and he doesn’t want to overstep Bucky’s boundaries. “I’m glad you’re here actually.” 

“Yeah?” Bucky asks, looking down at Clint’s collarbone instead of meeting his eyes, his fingers tracing nervous paths against the sheets. “I’m sorry you had got dragged into all this, you know. And I’m sorry if they hurt you. I’m sure that probably isn’t what you were expecting to wake up to on your match day.”

Bucky is hunched smaller now, curling in on himself in what Clint easily recognizes as shame. He can’t resist the urge to touch Bucky, not when he looks like this. He hovers a hand over Bucky’s shoulder and asks quietly, “Can I?”

When Bucky nods, Clint places his hand on Bucky’s shoulder, feeling the smooth metal plates shift beneath Clint’s t-shirt that Bucky borrowed to sleep in. 

“They didn’t hurt me, or at least not more than I’d get hurt on any mission. And it’s not exactly what I was expecting, no,” Clint says, squeezing Bucky’s shoulder when he tries to curl in further. “But it’s not so far off-base. I’m kind of a disaster really, so I figured that my match day wouldn’t be any different.” Bucky’s brow furrows at that and Clint quickly adds, “Not that you’re a disaster! But, you know, it wasn’t exactly a normal situation and I’m basically a pro at not-normal situations.”

Bucky loses some of the tension in his body as he reaches up a tentative hand and places it on Clint’s, his gaze moving from Clint’s collarbone back up to his eyes. He looks sad still, but also a little hopeful, maybe. He squeezes Clint’s hand very gently and Clint feels his heart squeeze in his chest, too. 

Bucky is quiet for a moment and Clint just lets him be, watching his chest rise and fall. It’s crazy to think that a few days ago, he didn’t even know Bucky at all, and Bucky already means so much to him. People have always told him that it’s like that with soulmates, but he always thought they were exaggerating or trying to justify the experience of being ripped out of your own life and thrust into someone else’s, like they just had to say that their soulmate was perfect because it would really suck to go through all of that for someone you didn’t even like that much.

But now he understands that feeling of right-ness, like he and Bucky have been on the same current this whole time, but the electricity has been amped up so that it’s noticeable. It doesn’t feel new, but rather like something he’s always felt but can only just now tap into.

That energy flows between them like something tangible in the quiet of the room as Bucky studies Clint’s face, before saying, “I’m still sorry that’s how you had to wake up, but I’m glad you had someone to wake up to. Even if it was me.”

Clint is about to address Bucky’s self-deprecation, but then he comprehends what Bucky is saying and the air freezes in his lungs. He hadn’t had much time to think about it, but now all he can think about is Bucky waking up in his own body on his twenty-first birthday, since Clint wasn’t born yet for Bucky to swap into.

“Bucky, I...” he trails off, not sure what to say. He can’t even start to imagine what that must have been like for Bucky. He knows that it had to happen this way for them to end up together now, but that doesn’t stop him from tasting regret in the back of his throat.

“It’s okay,” Bucky says, giving a little shrug that looks more casual than it is. “It was really terrible at the time, but I get it now. And I wouldn’t want to change anything. Not—not if it meant that I didn’t get to be here with you.”

Clint slides his hand slowly up Bucky’s shoulder and up to his neck, telegraphing his moves as he goes. He squeezes the back of Bucky’s neck gently, trying to ignore the tears he can feel welling up in his eyes. “Can you—” he breaks off, not sure that he should ask, the fragility of all of this feeling even more real now. Bucky reaches up and grasps his wrist gently, squeezing it in encouragement. “Can you tell me about it? About that morning?”

“Yeah, just…can we—?” Bucky asks, scooting slightly closer to Clint. “It’s hard to think about it but having you close helps.”

Clint’s heart lurches in his chest and he moves quickly to close the distance between them, ending with his arm wrapped around Bucky’s back and their foreheads together. He can feel the thrum of their bond intensify with their proximity. His voice is soft as he asks, “Like this?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Bucky replies, his voice equally as soft. Clint can feel Bucky’s forehead bump against his as Bucky swallows, his voice trembling slightly as he says, “I just...I was really excited, you know, to find out who my soulmate was. Steve and I used to talk about it all the time. I remember I used to joke with him about being prepared to wake up with a stranger in his bed when it was my turn, since we were sharing a bed back then.”

Bucky is quiet for a while and Clint lets him gather his thoughts. It’s too close to see his face very well, so Clint just focuses on learning the rhythm of Bucky’s breath. After a moment, Bucky continues. “I can still remember how it felt to wake up that morning and see Steve there and to just...know. And then I remember the look in his eyes when he woke up, all excited and curious, until he could tell it was still just me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Clint says and it feels inadequate, but he doesn’t know what else to say. He thought he had a rough time waking up in that Hydra cell, but at least he woke up somewhere else. He can’t imagine what it would be like to wake up in the same place he went to sleep, knowing that there’s no one else out there for him.

“It wasn’t rare,” Bucky says, ducking his head slightly. “It was the thirties and healthcare wasn’t great and so it wasn’t rare for people’s soulmates to die before either of them reached twenty-one.” Bucky swallows hard again, his voice the quietest it’s been when he says, “But I guess I just never thought that it could happen to me.” 

Clint pulls Bucky into a hug and Bucky clings right back to him. He can’t help thinking of all the stupid, reckless things that he did when he was growing up—hell, the stupid, reckless things that he did last week—and how they very easily could have been one of those couples that never got to meet. Clint’s always kind of thought about it in the aftermath of near-death situations, how he wouldn’t ever get to meet his soulmate, but it was kind of abstract. Now, being faced with what it was like to wake up without a soulmate, he feels ashamed that he didn’t try harder to keep himself safe.

With his nose tucked into Bucky’s neck, he whispers, “I’m right here. I’m sorry it took me so long to get to you, but I’m not going anywhere now.” 

Bucky exhales hard, the tension leaving his body, his limbs going lax with exhaustion. “I never thanked you for saving me, you know. I was starting to think that maybe I’d never get to be free. That maybe what happened on your birthday had all just been a dream. But now I get all of this—you and Steve and whatever kind of future I want.”

It’s heavy to think about what could have happened to Bucky if they weren’t soulmates or if Clint had gotten there too late. Clint doesn’t know if there’s anything he could say that would match the gravity of what could have been, so he defaults to humor instead. “All of that and a dog.”

Bucky pulls back so he can look at Clint’s face, his eyes wide with childhood wonder, and Clint can almost imagine what Bucky maybe would have looked like if they had switched bodies back when Bucky was twenty-one and still relatively carefree. There’s a thread of excitement in his voice when he asks Clint, “You have a dog?” 

“No,” Clint says, wishing intensely (and not for the first time) that he already did. Some of the wonder fades from Bucky’s face and is replaced by confusion. “But I was thinking we could get one. You and me and a dog, living back in Brooklyn. Sounds like a pretty good future to me”

He gives Bucky a sheepish little grin and Bucky grins right back, the wonder returning full force. “It sure does.”


End file.
